well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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