Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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