That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
