ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
