Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
