finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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