Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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