I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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