This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
