Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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