"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
