let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So vagazzling was a success
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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