dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
