what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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