Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
