So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sober January is a disaster.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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