dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think people are normalizing furries
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
