alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
