Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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