Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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