I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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