i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Oh god it's open bar.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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