I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
