Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
