He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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