u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
