i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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