yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
