i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
