Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
