Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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