I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
