dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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