It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
