idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
