How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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