New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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