I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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