Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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