i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
