I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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