You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
