Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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