I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i was born a porn star she said
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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