Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
