There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
