if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
