Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
