the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
