marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
